“Obstacles Americans are facing due to Covid-19 Virus.”
Body Paragraph 1
Covid-19 also known as the corona virus impacted the lives of many. Not only did it
break apart families through the fear of catching the virus comma but it also aparted them by
fights and boredom at home give evidence to illustrate this point! How many cases of domestic
violence have been reported?. Children now continuing school online led to distribution of their
social and educational lives unclear; paraphrase. Children in schools are not receiving the
education they deserve with online school why???? You need to provide more explanation.
“Pandemic school is clearly not working well, especially for younger children and it’s all but
impossible for the 20 percent of American students who lack access to the technology needed for
remote learning.” (Christakis) Not only does it affect the lives of millions of Americans “ The
COVID-19 pandemic has markedly disrupted the global economic system and daily life, sending
countries into various degrees of economic recession”(Runde). Where is an argument before you
cite the quote? Where is explanation???? The pandemic not only affects the lives of those at
school, but also those at work. People have lost their jobs due to the virus, which left “the
unemployment rate to fall in 6.7%” (Hess). This overlaps with the ideas in the next paragraph;
please change the argument and evidence. Leaving families and children to fend for themselves.
Fragment; paraphrase
This paragraph lacks explanation; please provide more explanation to the arguments as
well as evidence.
Body Paragraph 2
“The Covid-19 pandemic has had a devastating effect on the U.S economy. From
February to April, the unemployment rate rose from 3.5 percent to 14.7 and the employment to
population ratio fell from 61.1 percent to 51.3 percent. Both measures have rebounded somewhat
since then- in November, the unemployment rate had fallen to 6.7 percent, and the employment
to population ratio had increased to 57.3 percent” (Gale). You can’t start directly with the
evidence; you need to state the topic sentence, then provide an argument, then provide some
explanation, then give evidence, then provide some explanation to the evidence. Please redo the
structure and add more ideas People around the world then began to ask the question how the
government should respond to the situation. , how has the government responded to the
situation? The American government for a good amount of time did not know how exactly this
should respond to the pandemic. Here, you need to explain what makes you think so. this. Which
led to “ America [is] remaining within the top 20 percent for most coronavirus deaths per person
among developed nations, with more than twice the death rate with the median developed
country. If the U.S managed the same Covid-19 death rate as Canada, nearly 190,000 Americans
Americans would likely be alive today ” (Lopez) how did Canada did it? Where is
explanation???. After almost losing the well standing economy in America, the government they
decided to help with extended unemployment benefits and stimulus checks how / why/when did
they do it? Where is explanation???? . Although this did help some how do you know that it
helped? Where is explanation???? , it stimulus checks? didn’t really do what was truly needed.
Which was to feed America. Fragment; develop it as a sentence! “ Due to the effects of the
coronavirus pandemic, more than 42 million people may experience food insecurity, including a
potential 13 million children” (feeding america). What is the relationship between the checks
and the evidence? Where is explanation ?????
Body Paragraph 3
When was the Virus first discovered, where did it begin, and whys it still here WHAT IS
THIS??????? It has to be a developed sentence!!!!!! . The coronavirus was not something that
was unknown or new to scientists. “ Scientists first identified a human coronavirus in 1965”
( Bhargava). Give more explanation!!!! How / when /where was it discovered??? In 2019 the
Covid-19 virus striked once again but harder, and originated from China. Very informal +
WRONG!!! It didn’t originate in China; the first case was identified there. “ Coronavirus disease
2019 is caused by a new coronavirus first identified in Wuhan, China, in December 2019 ”
(CDC). This directly repeats the argument; you need to find other evidence With no vaccines in
the beginning of the spread we had no option, but to wear a mask when going out and patiently
self quarantine. Now over a year later, we are still fighting. Very informal! I said many times
NO “I/WE/YOU” IN A RESEARCH PAPER! “ Low tech things like masks make sense now
and in the future,” Jubanyik says. “ And they make sense because not only do we not have
vaccines and advanced therapeutics, but COVID-19, like all public health crises, is better
addressed by prevention than treatment.” ERASE IT! Don’t you see how informal it is???!!!
Body Paragraph 4
What are we doing as Americans to fight this virus from spreading any longer NO
QUESTIONS IN THE RESEARCH PAPER!!! It has to be an affirmative sentence! . With the
approval of the CDC America is now purchasing vaccines from companies like Johnson and
Johnson, Pfizer-BioNTech, and Moderna. The U.S Department of Health and Human Services
and Department of Defense have purchased an additional 100 million doses of Covid 19 vaccines
from both Pfizer Inc and Moderna INC to help meet demand for Covid 19 vaccines in the United
States” (HHS). America is now giving stimulus checks to all Americans and unemployed people
extended benefits. “The $1.9 trillion American Rescue Plan provides a $300 weekly boost,
extends pandemic aid until Sept. 6 and offers a new tax waiver on the first $10,200 of
unemployment benefits for many Americans” (Liu). As an extra effort to bring the people back
on their feet the government is helping renters with rent assistance and businesses with loans. “In
the stimulus package signed into law last month, the national ban on evictions was extended
through january and a $25 billion pot of money was established for renters struggling amid the
health and economic crisis.”(Nova) WHERE IS EXPLANATION TO ALL THESE
ARGUMENTS AND EVIDENCE??????
Body Paragraph 5
How has the pandemic affected small businesses in America? Businesses in American
were forced to shut down amid the coronavirus pandemic leading to major loss of income and
loss of jobs. “The new poll from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and MetLife found that 29% of
small businesses with fewer than 500 employees temporarily closed in recent weeks.” Although
some businesses that are essential were able to stay open they were forced to limit capacity
inside their businesses. As Baker said “ capacity limits for most businesses will be lowered to 25
percent beginning Saturday and will remain restricted for at least two week.” Many businesses
with no choice but to close for a long period of time will never be able to have the opportunity of
going back to how they were before. Empashing on amusement parks and airports never being
able to recover 100% for years to come. Air traffic won’t recover for at least three years, S&P
Says.
PLEASE! Revise the paragraph! No questions + you need to add EXPLANATION! This is not
really research!
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