General Feedback for AP Draft 2
Use my comments on the to guide your revisions for the AP, paying attention
both to global and local aspects. That detailed feedback should give you a good basis for what to
look out for as you revise, even if youre not directly repurposing those sections in the AP.
Refine your thesis Statement, and present your thesis early in the paper (first or second
paragraph) Your thesis statement does a lot in the paper: it lays out the central aspects of your
argument, it provides a direct response to the prompt, and it clues your reader into the specific
solutions and efforts youll be addressing in the body of the paper. Its important that you
provide your thesis statement to your reader early so that they have a clear idea of your argument
and what to expect in the rest of the paper. Your thesis statement will likely need to be 3-4 (or
even more) sentences long for the AP. Further, bring in specifics and detail into your thesis. For
instance, if youre advocating that a certain bill or policy should be passed, use the specific name
of the bill or policy in your thesis.
Remember that your thesis should be one of the last things you revise before submitting
your paper its a continuous process of tweaking and refining from the working thesis
to the final version.
On a related note, avoid using the passive voice in the thesis statement. Use the active
voice to avoid obscuring the people or organizations that implement or propose the efforts youre
addressing. Who or what organizations carry out these efforts, exactly?
If you feel like your paper is more a list of efforts than an argument about those efforts,
consider how you might categorize the efforts further. Do you have some short-term and
long-term efforts, for instance? Or are some of your solutions dealing with on-the-ground
responses to the problem, while other efforts address the larger cause of the problem? Or, are you
comparing efforts that are in practice now with efforts that are in development? Framing the
efforts, youre addressing in these ways might help you to put everything together into an
argument. You can also think about the efforts in terms of the argumentative strategies from the
AGWR (causation, cost/benefit, feasibility, and so on).
If youre arguing for a combination of efforts, make sure you explain why this particular
combination is effective. How do these particular solutions or efforts address the pitfalls,
limits, or drawbacks of the other effort(s) youre proposing?
Continue to think about how you present your analytical reasons behind the solutions and
efforts youre discussing. Why are you focusing on these particular solutions and not others?
Make sure you clue your reader into your reasoning. You could do this by framing your
discussion through the argumentative strategies from the AGWR, by emphasizing the effects of
the efforts, or by thinking about how various stakeholders are affected.
Pay special attention to your paragraph structureespecially your topic sentences and
wrap-up sentences Use these to frame each paragraph and to tell the reader how the
information in each paragraph relates to your overall argument.
Ill make another plug here for reverse outlining. The guides for this are on Canvas
under the Writing & Style Guides section.
Watch out for vague statements about how people have thought about the topic Im often
seeing statements like people continued to question the or people have continued to
wonder or Some have taken a different approach The problem with these statements is
theres usually a more precise way to say what you mean. Who are these people, exactly?
(governmental agencies, politicians, marine ecologists, economists, psychologists, etc.).
Give time stamps as you present your sources/solutions Dont forget to be specific when
youre talking about dates. What years are these efforts from, and/or when did the authors
publish their study or report? When was this bill or policy proposed, and what is the projected
timeline? What does the date tell us about the source and how it fits in to your argument?
Avoid unnecessary hedging All academic writers hedge, but Im seeing some hedging that
you could cut out from the paper in order to provide a more confident argument. Statements such
as seems to be or appears to be often come up naturally as youre figuring out what exactly
you want to advocate/argue for. I recommend cutting down on hedging when youre presetting
your argument (in the thesis statement), in particular. A good place for hedging, though, could be
in the conclusion, where you point to larger possibilities or implications.
Provide detailed captions for all visual modes (images, infographics, maps, charts, tables,
etc.). Since youre taking these visual modes from a different source (and from a different
rhetorical situation) its important for you to use the caption to tell your reader how you want
them to interpret the information in that map or chart for the purposes of your specific argument.
You should also attribute the visual mode to its source in the same caption.
Link your visual modes to your discussion in the main text. When referring to tables and
graphs from within the text, you can use numbered figures:
Clauses beginning with as: As shown in Table 1, As Figure 2 displays,
In parentheses at the end of the sentence: Each for three nutrients
Improve the flow and concision of your draft by reading it out loud More concise writing
would strengthen your paper and would help you communicate your points more clearly to the
reader. Tighten wordy sentences; eliminate repetition and . Read
your writing out loud to spot these issues. See Williams on Concision for more strategies for
Are you busy and do not have time to handle your assignment? Are you scared that your paper will not make the grade? Do you have responsibilities that may hinder you from turning in your assignment on time? Are you tired and can barely handle your assignment? Are your grades inconsistent?
Whichever your reason is, it is valid! You can get professional academic help from our service at affordable rates. We have a team of professional academic writers who can handle all your assignments.
Students barely have time to read. We got you! Have your literature essay or book review written without having the hassle of reading the book. You can get your literature paper custom-written for you by our literature specialists.
Do you struggle with finance? No need to torture yourself if finance is not your cup of tea. You can order your finance paper from our academic writing service and get 100% original work from competent finance experts.
While psychology may be an interesting subject, you may lack sufficient time to handle your assignments. Don’t despair; by using our academic writing service, you can be assured of perfect grades. Moreover, your grades will be consistent.
Engineering is quite a demanding subject. Students face a lot of pressure and barely have enough time to do what they love to do. Our academic writing service got you covered! Our engineering specialists follow the paper instructions and ensure timely delivery of the paper.
In the nursing course, you may have difficulties with literature reviews, annotated bibliographies, critical essays, and other assignments. Our nursing assignment writers will offer you professional nursing paper help at low prices.
Truth be told, sociology papers can be quite exhausting. Our academic writing service relieves you of fatigue, pressure, and stress. You can relax and have peace of mind as our academic writers handle your sociology assignment.
We take pride in having some of the best business writers in the industry. Our business writers have a lot of experience in the field. They are reliable, and you can be assured of a high-grade paper. They are able to handle business papers of any subject, length, deadline, and difficulty!
We boast of having some of the most experienced statistics experts in the industry. Our statistics experts have diverse skills, expertise, and knowledge to handle any kind of assignment. They have access to all kinds of software to get your assignment done.
Writing a law essay may prove to be an insurmountable obstacle, especially when you need to know the peculiarities of the legislative framework. Take advantage of our top-notch law specialists and get superb grades and 100% satisfaction.
We have highlighted some of the most popular subjects we handle above. Those are just a tip of the iceberg. We deal in all academic disciplines since our writers are as diverse. They have been drawn from across all disciplines, and orders are assigned to those writers believed to be the best in the field. In a nutshell, there is no task we cannot handle; all you need to do is place your order with us. As long as your instructions are clear, just trust we shall deliver irrespective of the discipline.
Our essay writers are graduates with bachelor's, masters, Ph.D., and doctorate degrees in various subjects. The minimum requirement to be an essay writer with our essay writing service is to have a college degree. All our academic writers have a minimum of two years of academic writing. We have a stringent recruitment process to ensure that we get only the most competent essay writers in the industry. We also ensure that the writers are handsomely compensated for their value. The majority of our writers are native English speakers. As such, the fluency of language and grammar is impeccable.
There is a very low likelihood that you won’t like the paper.
Not at all. All papers are written from scratch. There is no way your tutor or instructor will realize that you did not write the paper yourself. In fact, we recommend using our assignment help services for consistent results.
We check all papers for plagiarism before we submit them. We use powerful plagiarism checking software such as SafeAssign, LopesWrite, and Turnitin. We also upload the plagiarism report so that you can review it. We understand that plagiarism is academic suicide. We would not take the risk of submitting plagiarized work and jeopardize your academic journey. Furthermore, we do not sell or use prewritten papers, and each paper is written from scratch.
You determine when you get the paper by setting the deadline when placing the order. All papers are delivered within the deadline. We are well aware that we operate in a time-sensitive industry. As such, we have laid out strategies to ensure that the client receives the paper on time and they never miss the deadline. We understand that papers that are submitted late have some points deducted. We do not want you to miss any points due to late submission. We work on beating deadlines by huge margins in order to ensure that you have ample time to review the paper before you submit it.
We have a privacy and confidentiality policy that guides our work. We NEVER share any customer information with third parties. Noone will ever know that you used our assignment help services. It’s only between you and us. We are bound by our policies to protect the customer’s identity and information. All your information, such as your names, phone number, email, order information, and so on, are protected. We have robust security systems that ensure that your data is protected. Hacking our systems is close to impossible, and it has never happened.
You fill all the paper instructions in the order form. Make sure you include all the helpful materials so that our academic writers can deliver the perfect paper. It will also help to eliminate unnecessary revisions.
Proceed to pay for the paper so that it can be assigned to one of our expert academic writers. The paper subject is matched with the writer’s area of specialization.
You communicate with the writer and know about the progress of the paper. The client can ask the writer for drafts of the paper. The client can upload extra material and include additional instructions from the lecturer. Receive a paper.
The paper is sent to your email and uploaded to your personal account. You also get a plagiarism report attached to your paper.
Delivering a high-quality product at a reasonable price is not enough anymore.
That’s why we have developed 5 beneficial guarantees that will make your experience with our service enjoyable, easy, and safe.
You have to be 100% sure of the quality of your product to give a money-back guarantee. This describes us perfectly. Make sure that this guarantee is totally transparent.Read more
Each paper is composed from scratch, according to your instructions. It is then checked by our plagiarism-detection software. There is no gap where plagiarism could squeeze in.Read more
Thanks to our free revisions, there is no way for you to be unsatisfied. We will work on your paper until you are completely happy with the result.Read more
Your email is safe, as we store it according to international data protection rules. Your bank details are secure, as we use only reliable payment systems.Read more
By sending us your money, you buy the service we provide. Check out our terms and conditions if you prefer business talks to be laid out in official language.Read more